Shots of Reason

I dedicate this post to Chester of Linkin Park.

For being there for me in his songs. For his indescribable voice. For his shocking exit.

He is undoubtedly one of the undead, physically gone, yet forever alive in my memories. 

The song below goes quite well with this post, methinks.

And because it is my favourite Linkin Park song, yet.

Now read away:

For every single job interview that I have been at, the people have always come to one conclusion: Nneka (or Sonia), we cannot seem to define your type of person. You just don’t add up.

Story of my life.

I used to think there was something wrong with me for such a vast amount of intelligent people to consistently say I couldn’t be placed or identified by one concept. Everyone else could be tagged, everyone else was normal. Me, I had a factory fault. Surely God must have left one screw loose in my inner workings.

It wasn’t until recently that I realized the fault was with “them”.

Why did they try so hard to fit me in a box, anyway? Why must everything be neat and tidy and boxed in a corner? Just because their mental spaces couldn’t “neat and tidy” me away, did it mean I was at fault? And if they tried and tried and couldn’t fit me into a box, couldn’t they have just been comfortable enough to accept the fact that some things are just the way they are?

And hence the problem with us, people.

Bless our hearts, we must have to make sense of all things or else we will cease to function. We must peck and dissect and burrow till we drive ourselves mad with our efforts. We cannot simply just be.

However in truth, we cannot always tag and box everything.

There are some of us that are blessed enough to be many things at once, to be anything we want to be, yet retaining our core traits. We are what we need to be, when we have to be, when we want to be.

Like rivers flowing fast or slow, and though we flow here and there, we are consistent in the fact that in the end, we are just water. To be understood in sips, not in hurried gulps.

Proudly multicoloured, gracefully tentacled.

I am, therefore I exist.

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10 thoughts on “Shots of Reason

    1. Dear Rob,
      I am super glad to still have you on here. I have been well. Thank you for reading. Hopefully, I will be more consistent with postings. It has been such a ride.
      Love,
      Sonia.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am sure I will be writing more. I have missed you too, Rob. I am as usual catching up on some of your pieces. I have really missed your style of writing, your life .
        Please give Glory a nice pat for me, will ya?
        xxx

        Liked by 1 person

  1. As always this was a masterpiece. I can truly relate to being everything & nothing at the same time. People need to understand that the beauty of life for people like us is the fact that we can experience a wide range of thoughts & emotions and being free to take whatever shape we want. We are Divergent!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You have thought in a way that I wouldn’t even have considered. That, this, all of this is spectacular. Like there are people who don’t seem to add up but maybe its because the interviewer isn’t trying hard enough? Maybe the offices you get interviewd at are grey and white and what you really need is colour because you’re not a mindless robot. this is vary interesting (holding popcorn, sipping coke)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I would love to work in a office that is wrought with the colours of the rainbow; I just have not found it yet. I am starting to feel like a pirate, stuck at sea, searching for treasure that does not exist.
      But who are you, understanding me so well and all…
      Thank you for reading, thank you.

      Like

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