I dedicate this post to Chester of Linkin Park.
For being there for me in his songs. For his indescribable voice. For his shocking exit.
He is undoubtedly one of the undead, physically gone, yet forever alive in my memories.
The song below goes quite well with this post, methinks.
And because it is my favourite Linkin Park song, yet.
Now read away:
For every single job interview that I have been at, the people have always come to one conclusion: Nneka (or Sonia), we cannot seem to define your type of person. You just don’t add up.
Story of my life.
I used to think there was something wrong with me for such a vast amount of intelligent people to consistently say I couldn’t be placed or identified by one concept. Everyone else could be tagged, everyone else was normal. Me, I had a factory fault. Surely God must have left one screw loose in my inner workings.
It wasn’t until recently that I realized the fault was with “them”.
Why did they try so hard to fit me in a box, anyway? Why must everything be neat and tidy and boxed in a corner? Just because their mental spaces couldn’t “neat and tidy” me away, did it mean I was at fault? And if they tried and tried and couldn’t fit me into a box, couldn’t they have just been comfortable enough to accept the fact that some things are just the way they are?
And hence the problem with us, people.
Bless our hearts, we must have to make sense of all things or else we will cease to function. We must peck and dissect and burrow till we drive ourselves mad with our efforts. We cannot simply just be.
However in truth, we cannot always tag and box everything.
There are some of us that are blessed enough to be many things at once, to be anything we want to be, yet retaining our core traits. We are what we need to be, when we have to be, when we want to be.
Like rivers flowing fast or slow, and though we flow here and there, we are consistent in the fact that in the end, we are just water. To be understood in sips, not in hurried gulps.
Proudly multicoloured, gracefully tentacled.
I am, therefore I exist.