The finer points of UGLY…

I have never always been able to classify human beings based on their physical appearance. If asked if a person were beautiful or ugly, I honestly wouldn’t know what to answer. Heck, I might even be offended by the question. I mean, really, who am I to judge? I don’t really know how everyone else views the concept of beauty but for me, the ugliest people have always been those with closed minds, people without the ability to reason things out logically for themselves and folks lacking in creativity and compassion. Forgive me, but there is profound beauty in the lines of a perfectly expressed opinion and a conclusion drawn logically, having nothing(or less) to do with physical appearance but everything to do with minds, with souls. If I fall in love or like a person, it’s because the person’s mind is on fire. I appreciate the general definition of physical beauty in people(hurrah for vanity!) but handsome as the devil or as beautiful as an angel, it will always boil down to what they have in their heads, minds, and hearts. I generally cannot ignore the innards. Very hard. No siree! But that is just me talking. I may be off, but hey.

So, I wanna share the opinions of Charles Bukowski on the matter with you. I hope you will be able to appreciate the sweet and sour reality that he offers. Honesty like a flash of blinding white light, jarring you, yet comforting and providing illumination as well. Ahhh… there is indeed a reason why I love him so… even though he wasn’t a looker… physically, I mean.

So here goes…

Beauty is nothing, beauty won’t stay. You don’t know how lucky you are to be ugly, because if people like you, you know it’s for something else.
Charles Bukowski, Tales of Ordinary Madness.


And this very personal piece…

How come you’re so ugly?”

“My life has hardly been pretty — the hospitals, the jails, the jobs, the women, the drinking. Some of my critics claim that I have deliberately inflicted myself with pain. I wish that some of my critics had been along with me for the journey. It’s true that I haven’t always chosen easy situations but that’s a hell of a long ways from saying that I leaped into the oven and locked the door. Hangover, the electric needle, bad booze, bad women, madness in small rooms, starvation in the land of plenty… God knows how I got so ugly. I guess it just comes from being slugged and slugged again and again, and not going down, still trying to think, to feel, still trying to put the butterfly back together again… it’s written a map on my face that nobody would ever want to hang on their wall.

Sometimes i’ll see myself somewhere… suddenly… say, in a large mirror in a supermarket… eyes like little mean bugs…face scarred, twisted, yes, I look insane, demented, what a mess… spilled vomit of skin… yet, when I see the “handsome” men I think, my god my god, I’m glad I’m not them”
Charles Bukowski, Sunlight Here I Am: Interviews and Encounters, 1963-1993.

So, what now?
What say you?
Boom!!!

Adios darlings…
A bazillion kisses to you.
Again, boom!!!

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18 thoughts on “The finer points of UGLY…

      1. Yes o, less competition, less jealousy and all such stuff. But I have also realised that no matter how ‘ugly’ a person might seem, there are people longing to have that same person.

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  1. Beauty is such an abstract thing. For example, I may not notice a certain woman in one situation, but if the same woman is playing a guitar and singing beautifully, then she becomes beautiful. Then there is the beautiful woman who captures my imagination, but then when she reveals her personality, she becomes less attractive. Strange, isn’t it?

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  2. Yes, so very good, nekaaar. I loved your post. The Bukowski piece was an amazing addition. Entire thing Boomworthy.
    I agree I cannot ignore one’s physical attributes. Human nature, really. But I have always said I fall in love with a person’s soul, regardless of gender. Their mind, how they make me laugh, how they love me, their compassion for others. All of that truly encompasses a person’s beauty.
    Love this post xx

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    1. Thanks CC… so very glad you loved it. Although I have to agree that I also cannot ignore some physical attributes. Like beer gut. I don’t like pot bellied men. But guess what, I fell in love with a guy who didn’t really have the perfect abs. He wasn’t pot bellied but it seemed if he wasn’t careful, he might get it over time. That didn’t stop me from loving him. His mind was phenomenal and at the time, that was all that mattered to me. And I think that even if he had gotten the pot belly, I would’ve still been on his team. Oof! It’s the soul that gets us in the end, right? Guess we now know why Fiona fell in love with Shrek even when she was human. Heh heh heh.

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  3. Charles Bukowski. I didn’t get to know him like you did so I can only imagine the buckets of insightful stuff you’ve got tucked in your memory from him. Whether I would have the time to eventually track down his works remains a mystery for me though.
    And the piece about why he ‘looked’ the way he did……..pure genius.

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  4. I’m telling you, Maryam. Pure genius. Swearing down, if he were still alive, he’d be my sugar daddy. Lol. We’d drink and write and drink and write and write and write and everything in between. As per tracking down his works, well start small. Let google be your guide. That way, you’ll find the time.
    xxx

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  5. Hi Sonia!
    Beauty works in a strange way. Package and content. If the content is ugly, there is no beauty to be find, even if the package seems perfect.
    And when the content is beautiful, who cares if the package is plain 🙂

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  6. This is lovely! I agree, too. I find beauty to be very subjective. I think women often spend so much time trying to look like each other that they forget to celebrate uniqueness.
    I remember when Jennifer Grey from Dirty Dancing got a nose job. It was totally her right to do that, but I think she looked so much more beautiful before it despite people saying her nose was “ugly.” Her career also suffered after the nose job. I would prefer to look unique rather than what society deems “beautiful”.

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