It isn’t my post day yet…(I am still maintaining my uber smooVe Wednesday blogging status quo), yet, I cannot stop myself from spilling over.
I am thinking about me… my life… the people around me and how they struggle to get me to just be “normal”. When I balk at their attempts and cut off from them abruptly, they are hurt.
They don’t get that my identity, the essence of me, is something that I fight to protect. I do not want that inner part of me to be corrupted by the ways of others… I want it to be pure undiluted me. 100 percent juice of me.
I am not looking to be understood.
Being understood means my actions can maybe be predicted. Predictability is boring.
I am not looking for acceptance either. I shan’t let my actions be validated by the yay or nay of others.
I just want to be left alone. I want to curl into a warm hole, read books till my eyes cringe, suck on cranberry juice, sip daintily on Vodka, and listen to “Nothing in my way” by Keane till the apocalypse.
See me right now, that smile I am smiling in that picture, that is me… the way I am.
But they won’t let me…
The pseudo end…(only because in the real end, I win).